This. Last. Year.
Photo by Birdie Thompson
Per tradition, we asked The Retaility’s community:
“WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED ABOUT YOURSELF OVER THE LAST YEAR?”
Read on for answers from our favorite entrepreneurs, designers, artists, friends. But first, a few words from our founder…
Lindzi Scharf
Founder of “The Retaility” / Writer
“While this past year was dedicated to rediscovering my entrepreneurial spirit, over this next year, I want to focus on what's truly in my heart. My daughter, Evan, passed away in 2022. We'd known since she was born that our time together would be short due to a rare mitochondrial disease which couldn’t have been detected prenatally. During our three and a half years together, I threw myself into Evan's reality and sought out reasons to smile because I didn't want to miss a single second of our time together. Miss Evan passed away just four months after the birth of my son Reid. I approached the loss of Evan the same way I approached her birth… by throwing myself into the present. I celebrate her life by celebrating life. Every single second. Of every single day. With Evan's enduring spirit, I celebrate Reid's reality by embracing and nurturing his naturally gregarious, funny personality, which has truly saved me over the last two and a half years. I find comfort knowing that Evan wouldn't want me to miss out on the earliest days/months/years of Reid's life. A short, precious, (occasionally) sleepless time. So I smile, laugh, dance, and sing with Reid while embracing grief and honoring Evan through shared stories, songs, books, photos, videos, memories, and even a music class, the latter of which contributed to a newfound community of mom friends. I’ve also thrown myself into The Retaility and found ways of healing by listening to this community's own professional and personal stories of grief, frustration, joy, and every emotion in between. I love working on this site and having an excuse to speak with and listen to people I truly admire. The last long little while has also been an exercise in navigating pure passion with the realities of making a living in a new, fast-changing media landscape. I love telling other people's stories and am committed to continuing to do so. Because there's so much we can all learn from one another. That said, I'm also eager to focus on and find new ways of telling Evan's story. In whatever shape — and however long — that may take. I learned so much about myself and about life from Evan. I'm still ambitious, but I'm not who I once was. Forever changed, it's up to me to continue Evan's legacy. She may have been non-verbal, but this kid managed to teach us many words of wisdom without ever saying a word. So, over this next year, I want to focus on telling Evan's story and figuring out how to honor her and other kids like her. I was Evan’s advocate and voice while she was by my side. And I want to continue to be that for her during my lifetime. I look forward to discovering what that means to me and what that could look like.”
EVE RODSKY
Author of “Fair Play” + “Unicorn Space”
“This year was a series of hard things— my father’s sudden death, a mudslide, an election with far reaching consequences. Ironically the word I chose as an intention for the year 2024 was ‘simplicity.’ There was nothing simple about 2024. However I have learned that mental health isn’t about being happy- it’s about having appropriate emotions at appropriate times with an ability and strength to weather them. I had many appropriate emotions this year and my gift was that I was able to weather them with joy, connection, hope, and a deep understanding that the only way through is through. I found myself in these times returning to a children’s book gifted to me when my oldest was born called ‘We Are Going On a Bear Hunt.’ In the book as the family faces challenges on the way to find a bear, they repeat over and over ‘we can’t go over it, we can’t go under it, we have to go through it.’”
VENETIA KIDD
Stylist
“This year, I’ve come to truly understand the immense power of our words. I believe that what we speak into existence—whether positive or negative—has a profound influence on our reality. As we move into 2025, my goal is to keep focusing on words that foster positivity, abundance, and growth. I’m embracing the good that is yet to come, and I’m opening myself to new possibilities. I want to step outside the familiar and challenge myself creatively, expanding beyond the boundaries of what I’ve always known.”
ALLYSON FANGER
Costume Designer for “Shrinking” and “Grace and Frankie”
“This past year for me was one of the most transformative that I can recall. I love that I am being posed this question, and therefore taking the time to write down exactly why. Stopping to reflect is something I do all too infrequently, but this past year I had no choice but to think deeply about my path forward and about what I cherish most in my life–even more than my own ambition. Words by Cleo Wade really brought home how I was feeling in a way that I was initially unable to do: ‘There are few things more freeing than the mantra, not for me or no longer for me.’ This year, I found myself in an unfamiliar work situationship that, simply said, was ‘not for me.’ I appreciate a challenge, and I have never before ‘quit’ any endeavor that I have set out on. There is nothing I like better than to know that I accomplished more things in one day than I could have ever imagined. I get a true high from it. Most likely I am addicted to the dopamine, but that’s always been me and I love it about myself. Yet sometimes having the self respect to walk away from a situation that does not serve you is its own particular challenge. Making the decision to leave was one of the hardest moments for me of my 20-year run of working nonstop. And yet I did–I walked away. For the next three months while I wasn’t working, I couldn’t stop fretting over the decision and what it meant about me as a person that I ‘quit’ as I begrudgingly (though joyfully) used up all the gift certificates for facials, massages, and microneedling that had been sitting in my desk drawer for a decade (turns out I really love facials). As a mother of three daughters, I have always told them that if you try your hardest at something, regardless of the outcome, then you have been successful. Did I try my hardest in this situation? No, I can honestly say that I did not. I decided, very decidedly, not to. It wasn’t until I read the words from Cleo Wade above that I, for the first time in my life, decided that this was OK. What I learned in those three months, when I actually–and terrifyingly–had the time and space to think, was not only do I really love facials, but that it’s ok to prioritize my personal goals and connections outside of the day-to-day grind of my career. It was like my life had been a 20-year fire drill that I suddenly stepped away from, and I had some space to make things happen that served me. Not my production or my actors or my children, but me. And I’m not just talking about ‘me time,’ but personal productivity and working towards achieving personal projects that I’m very excited about. Now, as I’m excited and grateful to head back into production life in the new year, I’ll bring this wisdom with me to make space for my personal ambition. I just have a feeling that is where I will find my greatest success.”
EMILY FAITH STRAUSS
Jewelry Designer / Founder of EF Collection
“This past year, after welcoming my daughter Olivia, I realized I can be a mom and continue to be an entrepreneur / run EF Collection. Before my daughter arrived, I struggled with the idea of ‘how will I be able to do both?’ – constantly feeling like there weren’t enough hours in the day. But, with the right support and a few small shifts in my daily routine, I am truly fulfilled by both amazing roles.”
SHERYL LUKE
Tastemaker & Blogger - Walk In Wonderland
“I have learned to be more present and to enjoy the journey rather than obsess about the destination. On a related note, I try my best to not let things that are beyond my control stress me out and I’m definitely going to be building on that in the new year and beyond.”
LARSEN THOMPSON
Actress / Model / Dancer
“The greatest lesson I’ve learned about myself this year is the gift I possess in letting go. Its taken me a long time to get to this point, but I’ve experienced the freedom that comes with it. Whether it be in my personal life or when it comes to my craft, I’ve discovered the beauty in the imperfect moments. I’m ready to walk into this new year and encourage you all to step out in boldness, embrace all that it is that makes you unique, and let go of anything that says otherwise. You’re so special and have so much to offer this world.”
KYYAH ABDUL
STEM Professional / Content Creator
“This year I experienced a lot of changes. some I was ready for and others I was not prepared for in the slightest. What I learned is to just appreciate each season of life: the good and the bad. To appreciate the growing pains because it means I evolving into a better version of who I once was. I also learned to let go of certain things and the need to control every outcome. In the new year I’m really excited to keep this same energy of just enjoying the season I’m meant to be in.”
RACHEL PALLY
Pottery Maker / All Around Creative & Kind Human
“This past year has been one of deep transformation. After closing my business of 22 years, I’ve been able to step into a space of healing and reinvention in ways I never imagined possible. I’m creating art every day, picking my boys up from school, prioritizing my health, and putting LIFE first. I realize now how out of balance I had been for so long. I’m incredibly grateful to my husband, Kevin, for supporting me in this process of redefining who I am in the post-Rachel Pally Clothing era. This shift in priorities has been long overdue, and I feel more powerful, centered, and full of love and excitement for what’s ahead. Here’s to continuing to grow, evolve, and push myself—creatively and personally—in 2025!”
DIARRA BOUSSO
Designer / Founder of DIARRABLU
“This past year, I’ve learned the importance of delegation and discovered just how much I need creative work to feel truly fulfilled. These learnings have shown me that balance is key, not just in work, but in life. In 2025, my goal is to step back from tasks that don’t align with my passions and focus on what brings me the most joy. By creating more space for magic, rest, love, and creativity in all its forms, I hope to nurture a life that feels more inspiring and intentional.”
REBECCA KING-CREWS
Fashion Designer / Founder of Rebecca Crews in Pasadena
“[I’ve learned] that I’m only one person and I can’t do everything! [My motto is], ‘Delegate delegate delegate!’ [I plan on] pouring more into the team so that they can run things efficiently without me present. Transferring to them my brand DNA so they can then run with it, bringing their gifts to the table without hesitation.”
ARIEL KAYE
Founder of Parachute
“This year was a year full of big transitions. I’ve realized how important it is for me to slow down during these transformative moments. To make extra space for self-care, for inspiring adventures, for playful moments that get me out of my head and also for intentional moments that allow for stillness and reflection. As a person who is moving quickly and likes to feel productive all the time, I see that in order to process and grow, it’s critical to step away from the go-go-go mentality and give yourself time to breathe. I’m looking forward to being more deliberate in how I spend my time, both personally and professionally next year. To carve out meaningful moments and exercises that are available when I need to move through challenges or uncertainty and simultaneously give space for the unexpected excitement that comes with an openness for the unknown.”
SARAH BONELLO
Fashion Designer / Founder of The Park
“The past year has been both exciting and daunting at the same time. After a lifetime of wanting to focus my work life on my biggest passion, I finally took the leap and launched THE PARK in 2024. I have been obsessed with fashion since I was a child. I was absolutely that girl (my husband says I remind him of Cher from Clueless) who loved to keep up with the trends even before I could afford them. The 90’s supermodels were my icons and those dressing them, my idols. I have had so many personal transformations happen, career changes, a divorce, a remarriage, expanding homes along with a new baby, an incredible 14-year-old and two great stepchildren on the east coast. It was around COVID time and that’s when I started seeing my way back into anything artistic, I could get my hands on. It was then I came up with an idea -- a line of luxury staples that were meant to be paired with the best designer brands to help take what look like effortlessly chic looks and create effortlessly chic lives. After two years of development with a final sample set in place, I was like a nervous 20-year-old again. It was so much work. It is so much work to start all over again, not once but twice in two years. But what I realized is that I would never be happy if I kept being comfortable. So never stop taking leaps when people tell you not to go your own way and find the path you define and love being on. That’s my plan for 2025.”
AVREY OVARD
Model / Tastemaker
“Something that I’ve learned not only this year, but every year, every day, every hour - you have to take care of yourself! Therapy. Medication. Communication. Relationships. Fresh air. Daily walks. Meditation. It’s all so much to balance - and with social media it’s so easy to see the newest thing and feel behind when you’re not participating. It’s an on going journey every day and it all takes so much self awareness to realize what brings you peace and joy and what is just a waste of money and energy. Going into the new year especially, everyone sets goals of bettering themselves in whatever capacity that looks like. With my own personal journey, I am constantly reminding myself that trying to improve upon myself mostly means starting from within. It’s not always doing physical things (like a face mask or a new diet) but changing your mindset to have a stronger foundation and personal belief that you are capable of achieving what you’re setting out to achieve. This year I finally took the much needed leap of faith to get on medication and it has truly changed my life. Not offering yourself the option of medication due to stigmas can feel paralyzing and made me feel so directionless. A gentle reminder to always be kind to yourself, treat yourself with grace, and recognize you are just a small child who grew up. Once you are an adult, life just becomes parenting yourself. Treat yourself like you’re your own child - always watching out for yourself and your best interest. It will take you far.”
MOUNA TRAORÉ
Actress / Writer
“Community has been a major theme for me this year, and I have really felt how important the experience of familiarity is for me. Since moving to LA, I’ve made a lot of new friends, which has been magnificent, but I don’t think I realized the impact of being in new spaces and trying to be seen and understood. There is an energetic cost to constantly feeling like I need to contextualize myself when building new friendships (which is something I need to work on). After spending an extended period of time at home this summer, I realized how much I also need to prioritize being around people and spaces that feel familiar. It was so calming and reassuring to be surrounded by my ‘day ones,’ and to frequent places where I feel a sense of history. It nourished me in a way I didn’t know I needed.”
GENEVIEVE ANGELSON
Actress
"My body is always right. If I have an instinct or an intuition about something, it's right."
KELLY MCKEE ZAJFEN
Co-founder of Alliance for Moms
“[I’ve learned] that if I can’t find joy, I can create it. It’s been very difficult for me to find joy after losing my son but it’s imperative that I continue to find joy not just for myself but for those around me. I can wait for it but I can also help create it. So lots of travels and adventures not just far but near too. A lot more dinner parties and gatherings with people I love.”
IRENE CHEN
Co-founder of Parker Thatch
“Over the last year, I've really learned the value of leaning into challenges. It's easy to shy away from difficult situations, but I've found that those are the times when I learn and grow the most. Whether it's tackling a complex project at work or facing a personal obstacle, I've discovered a resilience and strength I didn't know I had. This next year, I want to continue embracing those challenges head-on. I want to trust my instincts more, especially when things get hectic, and use those experiences to further develop my problem-solving skills. I'm also going to actively seek out opportunities to step outside my comfort zone and expand my skillset. I believe this approach contributes to my personal growth in business, as a mother and wife.”
ANDREA RACEY
Designer / Founder of Helena Quinn / Co-Founder of Duster
“This year I've learned to redefine what success looks like for me. Like a lot of us, I was heavily impacted by the girl-boss era and a very linear version of what success was supposed to look like. Over time, that came at the cost of many things including my own physical health and disconnection from my body. Anyone who's read The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk knows that at the end of the day, the body will always win. This year, I honed in on my connection to my own nervous system. Observing its cues and discovering where I was becoming reactive. Noticing where adrenaline and fear were rising when they didn't need to be (not easy in an election year.) Addressing it really required a reorganizing of my mind and how I chose to look at the events that arise in my life. I am a spiritual person and that faith in something greater than myself helped me immensely here. I chose to trust that everything is happening for me, and not to me. I tried to release my attachments to anticipated/expected outcomes - both personally and professionally. I began to learn the difference in my body’s signals for intuition vs. fear, and wherever I found fear, I dove in and explored it. I’ve learned that for me, success now looks like a calm and balanced nervous system. It looks like living in the flow of life, taking events that could feel like a setback, and mentally shifting them into a potential opportunity. I’ve learned that nothing external is worth the price of my internal peace.”
HANNAH HEIDEGGER
Vice President of Retrouvé
“This past year brought with it a lot of firsts for me, especially in work, and through these new experiences, I learned that I am capable of handling anything that comes before me, but also how to give myself more grace when learning new things. To me, this means not being so hard on myself and not expecting perfection right from the start. Next year I plan to push myself to continue to learn and try new things, even beyond what I thought I was capable of doing, all while continuing to give myself grace and to try to enjoy the process more.”
MAAHRA HILL
Actress on “The Irrational” / Producer
“This last year has been full of emotional depth for me! Things that brought me into my heart more, personally and professionally, were ever present. I was at lunch with a friend, this summer, who asked me what I'd learned from a recent difficulty, and I just poured out from my heart how deeply I'd been affected and how it transformed me. Then I started to analyze it more, and they called me on it, saying "I know you've wanted to live more in your heart, so I had to stop you." Friends who hold you accountable to your best self are invaluable. I've discovered more of the beauty, clarity and power in my heart this year. I hope to continue to experience life and growth through that lens next year. My hope is to be less lost in it; and instead, appreciate it's request for vulnerability, while honoring the clarity and strength that it reveals.”
Photo by Sarah Krick
JOAN RATER & TONY PHELAN
Creators of “Fire Country” & “A Small Light”
“This year the Writers Guild went on strike for 5 months. During that time we walked the picket lines and worried about the future. When would the strike end? Would our television shows be affected? Would our crews be able to survive the long period of unemployment? When the strike ended ,we were grateful for the gains our union achieved in our contract, but more than that, we were overjoyed to go back to work. There’s nothing like a forced break to make you realize what you’re missing. We’re holding onto that joy and never letting go. In 2025, we’re gonna enjoy doing the work we love with people we love. Can’t wait!”
STEVE KAZEE
Tony Award-Winning Actor / Singer
“This past year, I’ve discovered that the secret to a balanced life lies in mastering a delicate dance: holding control lightly in one hand while learning to release it just as gently with the other. Neither grip too tight nor let go too freely, and you’ll find that life starts to align in unexpected and beautiful ways. It’s a daily practice for me now—one I lean into during moments of calm and chaos alike. It’s not always easy, but when I get it right, the rewards run deep, grounding me in a sense of peace that feels both earned and effortless.”
Photo by Jonny Marlow
DAN BUCATINSKY
Emmy-Award Winning Actor / Writer / Producer
“This was a challenging year. Period, the end. What have I learned? As an actor, writer and producer I’ve felt the contraction in our industry—the aftermath of a pandemic and two industry strikes. It’s taken a toll in the form of a dramatic tightening of purse-strings. And a loosening of my waistband. Damn you, emotional eating! So - this has been a year of learning how to bounce back - how to get up off the floor and find creative inspiration again. Even at home - as a long-time husband and dad… redefining my role in the lives of my teenaged kids when they clearly don’t need me in the same way anymore. It’s been a year of looking inward and rediscovering what I truly want rather than what others want from me. It’s been a year about learning out how to push against resistance and get stronger again. And redefine who I am - not by what I do - or how I’m seen — but by what I really want in my life. And as I get older - I value more than ever a sense of community. And laughter. So. That’s what I want more of in 2025. For all of us. But perhaps the most profound lesson I’ve learned is that everything I buy on Instagram comes from China. And by that I mean eventually comes from China. There are many empty spots under my Christmas tree with IOUs.”